This event runs at various locations across London and you can either attend wine tasting, cocktail tasting, or champagne tasting; all in the presence of fellow singletons looking to meet a certain someone. Not that I was getting my hopes up about actually meeting someone I might fancy there, more for the blog material really. I decided to book my ticket and go along.
I managed to drag a single male friend of mine along, thank god. Because when the cab dropped us off at what was meant to be the venue, we were a little lost. It was in a bar that was part of a huge residential complex and hotel, but we couldn't see any sign of the bar. There was a restaurant and swimming pool in there too. I know this because we got lost inside, trying to find the bar. My friend and I walked into the entrance to what looked like a restaurant/bar and were greeted by a member of staff who said "Table for two?" "Er, no... we're here for a... er... function?" I replied. By then a young chap who was also lost and following us around like a lost puppy found us, and a couple of girls were behind him. I didn't want to say "I'm here for the single's event!"
He showed us through the restaurant overlooking the pool, out the back and basically did a loop of where we'd just been, walked us out the door we came in and pointed up the other end of the road where we'd just walked, and said "It's in the champagne bar up there". My friend, lost pup and I walked around this massive complex and still didn't find it. One of my pet hates is being late and we were already 20 minutes behind.
We stumbled across it purely by fluke in the end, after doing a full lap of this place. I don't know how that waiter expected us to find it with those dodgy directions! Anyway on arriving we registered, gave our names, put on our sticky address label name-badges and quickly scanned the room. I knew this event was going to be light on the man-front because women's tickets were sold out (so 25 women there, my mate was pleased) and men's tickets were 2-4-1, so I wasn't expecting much.
My mate made my buy him a drink for dragging him along to this event, so at the bar we did a quick tally up. One group at the bar together included about three guys and three girls, none of which stood out. There were two girls sitting at a table and few more scattered about at the back. Matey-boy and I looked at each other with mutual agreement that it was going to be a painful night, so we'd best enjoy the wine at least!
Once everyone had arrived the host explained how the night would work. There were about five tables of around four or five girls, the guys (all aged between 24-38) were split into groups and were to go to their first assigned table with two glasses of the first wine, one for them and one for a girl, and sit at the table. The idea was that you'd have around 15 minutes in that group tasting and talking about the wines and getting to know each other before the guys take the empties and collect the following wine to take to the next table. We each had a score card (not sure if that's what it was called but that's what it felt like) where you'd mark the name of the person (if any of course) you'd like to meet again, your email address on the top, and any comments about them. They all got handed into the host at the end of the night so any comments would make fun bedtime reading for her! She'd then tally up and send you the email addresses of those interested in you and yours to those you'd selected.
Okay, this could work. I like the fact that it's not one on one, having questions fired at me. The other girls on my table were cool, and we'd already had a bit of banter before getting started. If anything it should be an alright night.
The wine boff explained his bit. He mentioned that on each table were questionnaires about the wines (which wine was from what region, that sort of thing). He held up a glass and started to explain about where on the tongue we taste certain things...and then this German bloke on the back table piped up (you'll have to read this with a German accent) "Excuse me, could I have zee glass of vine please?" "Sorry you will be asked to collect he wine in a moment, I'm just running through the demonstration", explained the wine boff. The other women on my table and I all rolled our eyes at each other and one said "Ugh God, wonder who's gonna end up with that one!" "How the heck did he manage to get in here anyway, he's well over 38!!" I replied. "But it vould be easier if ve had zee glass of vine vile you speak" he continued... "I'll finish the demonstration first then the wine will be handed out". That told you!
He managed to finish his demonstration and along came the first round of guys. On my right was a guy my mate and I called Flannelette Jumper Guy. And he had slight man-boobage too. Not great in that jumper. Opposite was a guy I thought said worked in accounting or banking, I wasn't quite sure. He didn't strike my fancy though. As there were a few men missing the seat on my left was empty. Great, no where to turn. So I got stuck into the quiz (out comes my competitive side). It was a white wine, pretty minging, possibly a Chardonnay, yeah, that's what I'll tick. The other girls on my table chatted to the guys and we all had a go at the quiz. When the host called for the guys to move on we necked our glasses and said our farewells. The next round brought a South African chap on my right, and a guy opposite I can't quite recall. The chair to my left again sat empty. The girls and I were wondering if maybe we had an imaginary date there as there was a bum shaped dent in the seat!
The next round brought The German, he plonked in the seat next to me and introduced himself. I thought I'd help the girls out by talking to him, so I asked "Hi, so what do you do?" He said he invests in the Asian market. I said "Well there's a lot to invest in, what in particular?" Vietnamese stock market, well I'd just come back from 'Nam so I started yabbering on about my trip noticing that he was investing quite a bit of time oggling my own produce down my top, and with really offensive breath I was expecting gratitude of the girls on my table for 'taking one for the team' here! Time passed quickly with that round, thank gawd, and as they left the girls leaned in and thanked me for steering him away.
The wine was flowing now and the questions were being filled in. I nearly forgot my score card! As I joke I ticked my mate as someone I wanted to see again (well, least he'd get one email address next week art the least), and in the comments wrote "utter cock (my mate)" just to give the poor host a chuckle when she reviewed the cards.The guys changed again, ah the chair on the left was filled with.... Velvet Jacket Guy! A creepy long haired chap so nervous and uncomfortable in his own skin (and velvet jacket) I was worried about scaring the shit out of him. The conversation between us girls turned to the other events and I mentioned that there's a champagne tasting event based in Chelsea, Velvet Jacket guy said in a really uncomfortable nervous voice "Oh, er, I nearly bought a place in Chelsea". "Oh wow, where did you end up buying then?" I replied. "Croydon". Eh? Did I hear him right? "Croydon? Er, Chelsea, Croydon, Chelsea, Croydon,I don't know, it's a tough call, what made you chose Croydon?" I asked "Er, ah, I, er got a detached house". Velvet Jacket Guy was in the movie industry. What he did though I don't know. I would think him to be a bit of a liability on any film set, he was really quite creepy, and very nervous, poor chap, shouldn't have sat next to me.
The next round brought the only hot guy in the room, who I later found out was actually seeing one of the girls on my table, sort of. They'd had a few dates anyway but she said to me "I don't mind if you tick him though and have a date, really!" Aaaah how sweet. No thanks though, I'm not into sharing.
Then the round with my mate, and BOY did he hit it off with one of the girls on my table. The other girl and I looked at each other halfway through the round and said to each other "Shall we...er... leave 'em to it??" Ha ha. Everything he'd done she'd done and vice-versa. She and I later swapped business cards because she and I had something in common and I wanted to pick her brains about something. At least I'd met a potential drinking buddy/singleton if not a hot date. And hopefully my mate made a mutual connection!
By the end of the night the stragglers were all pretty sozzled, there was a small group of us left and my mate and I noticed Flannelette Jumper Guy was actually hitting it off with some hot blonde Doctor and was actually touching her arm. Crikey the wine was obviously kicking in cause he was SO batting above his station.
I handed back my score card and munched some of the free deep-fried nibbles served at the end and my mate and I skipped off (OK, more a drunken swaying stagger to a cab) to Soho for some gay-clubbing madness. Don't know why, neither of us are gay!
I wouldn't call the night a success, nor would I say it was a total wash out. I ended up getting an email the following week with three email addresses! OH! Who's were they............ South African (wasn't attracted to him), Velvet Jacket Guy (was actually a bit scared of him) and.... oh.... my mate. Because he was pissed by the time we left he panicked and ticked the box that said "I'd like to meet everyone again" because he couldn't remember anyone's names! Ha ha. He also received three email addresses, one was a cuddly journo, one was a musician with a lazy eye (who I think was quite cute) and the other was mine! The one we'd both wanted to hear from blew us both out!
So maybe the next one will be champagne tasting in Chelsea with some slightly older more eligible men. Who knows. Watch this space....
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