James Hewitt (not the real one)

I had a date a few years ago with a guy I met in the usual manner for me.... anyway he suggested a 'nice' pub in Earls Court.  I didn't know there were any nice pubs in Earls Court, but there ya go.


Typical me got there early.  I went to the bar and grabbed a stool and the barman came over.  The pub was pretty busy and most the punters were men.  Seasoned drinkers some of them.  Anyway I ignored it and instead distracted myself with how cute the nice young barman was.  I ordered my drink and got my book out.


After a while the barman noticed my book and asked what I was reading.  I can't remember what it was and it's not important anyway, we started chatting.  He was nice, probably too young but really sweet.  He asked if I was drinking alone but I replied that I was meeting someone but began to wish I wasn't.


Anyway the 'date' came storming through the pub door.  OH MY GOD, as he walked towards me I noticed he looked like a scruffy James Hewitt.  He had messy ginger hair (I swear it wasn't ginger in his profile pictures.... or was it?), a dark green wool jumper with a shirt under and I think maybe even chords, I couldn't look.  He came up to me at the bar and said "Hello" and sort-of spat on my face as he spoke.  EUGH, was that booze I could smell?  Oh man.


Anyway Mr Hewitt ordered a drink, but I really don't think he needed anymore.  I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.  What must the barman think?  'Crikey she must be desperate?'


I asked what he'd been up to with his day and he spat in my face that he'd come into town and met a friend for lunch.  He'd only just left there to meet me.  They'd spent the afternoon drinking.  Eh?  Is it normal for someone to turn up on a date half-cut?  I mean it's probably not uncommon to get smashed on a date, I know a friend who got pissed on a date and fell asleep in the loo while the poor woman sat at the restaurant table for 20 minutes waiting until he woke up and came back all embarrassed (needless to say they didn't meet up again after that) but to turn up pissed and keep drinking? 


Anyway this Hewitt look-a-like was really rude.  He asked me what I did while I waited for him, and I told him that the bar man and I had a chat about my book and he replied "Ooooh you think you're in there".  I really didn't like his tone and he was clearly too pissed to handle an intellectual chat, so after our drink I said "I should be getting home, I've got a migraine coming on" (trusty old Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card) so we walked back to the tube station.  At the station he actually said "So would you like to see me again?"  Bloody nora, I was so shocked I just pulled as really awkward face and said "Er, yeah, sure" cause I didn't know what he'd say if I said no... and tottered off down to the platform.  But once on the safety of the train I text him "Thanks for the drink but I'm sorry, you're not my type and I don't think we should meet up again, sorry".  I got a text straight back (I'm surprised he was capable of texting) saying that I was a stuck-up snob who really wasn't all that.  Oooooh dear.  Someone was feeling defensive!  I deleted his reply and got the book out.  Bugger, should have slipped that nice barman my number!

In the morning Mr Hewitt, while nursing his Resolve and sore head must have remembered what a complete tit of himself he'd made, and gone through the sent items on his phone and seen what he'd text me, because he text and apologised.  He explained that he'd had too much to drink and probably shouldn't have met me.  Well that was nice.  He didn't suggest meeting again either, which was even more of a bonus.


Alright James, you're forgiven. But next time... have more water with your liquid lunch!

My Mr Big - Part 1

I feel a bit weird writing about this cause it's still so raw and fresh but I met him about two years ago.  I'd had a few dates leading up to ours that were non-starters so I wasn't overly hopeful but I was still looking forward to it.  This one was actually on a Saturday night too.  He was tall so I had on a pair of heals with skinny jeans and a suit jacket.


We met at 9pm in a pub about 10 minutes from me.  He was at the bar when I walked in, man was he tall.  Well, 6'2" but from the track record (apart from the 6'7" guy I met once) that was tall.  He was really well built too; not necessarily something I'd normally look for in a man but definitely an added bonus.  When he was asking me what I wanted to drink I noticed his schnoz, it was huge (that's nose by the way)!  I mean massive.  So big, I could almost fit my fists up it...maybe.  Okay maybe not quite but it was a big busted one that showed he'd played a few tough rugby matches in his time.  I had to stop focusing on it!  But overall, that with that and the fact his face had a sort-of weathered rugged look about it, it all worked.  


The chemistry was there straight away, and the date, though not my ideal type of date (as it was just drinking), was really good.  We just had a couple of drinks in the pub, hit a cocktail bar, then a club, because it was the only place still open and neither of us wanted to call it a night just yet.  


In the club he flashed me his warrant card and badge, only cause I made him.  He didn't like flashing it around.  I thought that was quite hot, then I noticed his big strong arms and chest and....okay, I fancied the pants off him now!

The night ended back at mine.  I know I know!!  I knew that was a stupid mistake but I couldn't help myself.  I'd never normally take someone back on the first date, and especially not if I wanted to see them again.  I like to make them wait, ya know.  I won't write any details but it was amazing, he was amazing, and with a body like that, wow.  The night was fantastic but the morning even better, but as he left I was sure I'd blown it by bringing him back and probably would hear from him again.  But while I was still in bed, gobsmacked by what had happened and gleaming with post-coital glow he text me saying he'd had an amazing time and wanted to see me again!  I was so chuffed! 

We saw each other again and again and slowly, very slowly, things turned into a relationship but due to his job and position in the Met his availability was pretty slim.  He was also project managing the building of a house in outside of London too, so a lot of his free time was spent there.  We dated for a little over nine months.  The times we spent together were amazing.  We never argued, we just had fun.  But the weird thing about the relationship was that I didn't meet any of his friends, family or do any coupley things with other friends.  He'd met two of my friends but that was only for a couple of hours because I slyly arranged for them to be in the same pub as us.  I wanted to show him off, I was so happy to be with him, can you blame me?  I only manged to get him for a weekend once and that was for a mini-break in Brighton, which was amazing.  

But after a while I began to notice that my friend's relationships were moving faster than mine.  A friend who met her boyfriend after I'd met the cop had already moved in with him.  I was jealous.  Envious.  And after a while it began to show.  I tried to act all care free, like it didn't matter but I mentioned the fact that I'd not met any of his friends yet, and he'd said no one would get to go back to his home town to meet the boys until after a year.  Same with the parents.  Not that I'm a massive fan of that.  I didn't dare utter the L-word.  I'd had a family reunion which I'd attended solo because he had to work, but also the fact I'd invited him seemed to freak him out a bit too.

I often had dates cancelled due to his work cancelling his time off.  This was so frustrating but I knew it would be like that.  I tried to accept it and rolled with it.  I made sure I was flexible and didn't take it to heart when I got cancelled.  But he knew he was letting me down.  When his shifts got really bad I gave him my spare key and we tried to work around it.  I said to come back after work whenever he could.  The first time he tried this though, he tried to surprise me by not warning me he was coming, but the surprise was on him because I wasn't in!  Haha.  I was out having drinks after work, and received a grumpy call from him explaining that he was just leaving my flat, miffed to find it empty.  I tried to make him wait there for me to get home but he had a grump on and had left already.

After a while though he got frustrated with letting me down all the time and I was annoyed with him never being around and wasn't sure if I could really handle being the only single one at all family functions, parties Christmas and New Year...blah blah blah.  So he ended it.  With a text.  Short and sweet.  I felt crushed.  He wouldn't pick up the phone to talk about it or to allow me to have my say.  I HATE being ignored.  It drove me bonkers.  I HATED him.  BASTARD.                  

Pros and Cons

 

 5 things I love about being single...

1) More time for me (gym, shopping, reading)

2) Free to sleep like a star fish every night

3) Can walk around the flat naked

4) Girls nights out, they can be whenever you like

5) Girls nights in, same as above

5 things that suck... 

 

1) No sex on-tap 

2) Waking up alone/going to bed alone

3) Being jealous of random couples smooching on the tube

4) Having to schedule non-single friends months in advance

5) Lack of girls nights out